Finding Intrinsic, Lasting Motivation to Succeed

By Denis Waitley

For the high achiever, it’s natural to seek out challenging goals because he or she has an inner, intrinsic drive to succeed. And success doesn’t mean pet rocks, get-rich-quick schemes, lotto jackpots or chain letters. High achievers are looking not to receive, but to contribute, to give. They’re looking for problems that are personally satisfying to solve. Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey and Warren Buffett, three of the wealthiest individuals in the world, eagerly go to work every day to face the challenge of solving a new and bigger problem. All could be playing Backgammon on a tropical island or two rounds of golf per day.

Since the accomplishment of a difficult task means more to the high achiever than any external motivation, it means that motivation will remain strong throughout his or her career. Think of how much stronger and more permanent such a motivation is compared to one that is extrinsic.

Suppose you choose a particular career because of the money. What happens when there’s more money in doing something else? You’re likely to abandon one path as soon as another possibility opens up, and eventually you’ll find yourself wondering what you’re really doing… maybe even who you really are.

Since there is no inner drive to stay on any particular path, the journey will be arduous, and motivation will tend to weaken whenever the external reward seems remote or out of sight. This is especially true with individuals who want a home business with high rewards and minimal risk. Some people spend their entire lives wandering from one field to another, always looking for an easier way to find that pot of gold, never achieving a significant goal worthy of their inner potential.

I’ve met many people who fit this description. If they’re in sales, they move from company to company, from industry to industry, for one product or service to another. They are very hard to keep on your hand held electronic address book or in your directory of contacts because they are always either coming or going or starting another new business of their own. When that doesn’t work, they get involved in sketchy enterprises, especially start-up-companies offering big, easy rewards, such as a wonder diet company where you can lose all the weight you want by eating anything you want and swallowing one amazing pill a day. They go from one Roman candle to another, from one “exciting opportunity” to another disappointment.

The problem is, money alone does not stimulate intrinsic motivation and therefore is a means, not an end. Money is like fuel for your car. It is not the destination. It is not the journey. It is only part of the transportation system. Make your “why” grab you by your very soul. You’ll never be disappointed for very long. And you’ll stay committed regardless of “stock market gyrations” or setbacks.

This week, find your unique “why” and pursue it with passion!

– Denis Waitley

Perfectionism – Is it Stifling You ?

Perfectionism – Is It Stifling You?

Don’t get me wrong. I have no bone to pick with perfectionists; particularly not those who might find themselves operating on my heart, building my home or fixing my cars’ brakes. It goes without saying then that there are many situations in which is it extremely important to have things be perfect (or as close to it!). But it also needs to be said that there are many situations in which it is not! The problem isn’t perfectionism per se, the problem is when we don’t discern between the two. When we fail to ask ourselves “Does this really matter?” our quest for perfection not only fails to serve us but can be a disservice to those around us.   Perfectionism can stifle us in three key ways. First, it keeps us from taking risks that might result in a greater accomplishment and contribution because we are afraid of messing up or looking, well… less than perfect.  It’s a good thing we learned to walk as toddlers before we became conditioned to think that we had to do things just perfectly. I mean, just think about how many adults who never learned to swim as children refuse to learn as adults. Why? Because they don’t want to go through the same learning curve that every child must go through in order to stay afloat. As Winston Churchill once said “The maxim ‘Nothing avails but perfection’, may be spelled P-A-R-A-L-Y-S-I-S.” Not only does our desire to do things faultlessly keep us from taking on new challenges that involve an element of risk, but perfectionism can also limit our success in fulfilling our current responsibilities and goals effectively. For instance, if before I could write this article my house had to be perfect, it would never be finished. Likewise, my clients often are less productive than they could be because they spend hours (sometimes days) on unimportant details – such as finalizing the font they use in their power point presentation or finding the perfect colors for their charts - they could be spending that time on things that actually contribute to their organization’s goals. It’s just so easy to fall into a trap of spending hours, days, weeks (and sometimes years!) focused on making something be “just perfect” that, in the big scheme of life, really isn’t that important.  That’s why it pays to continually ask yourself, “Is what I’m spending my time and energy on really important; does this really matter?” Richard Carlson, who I co-authored a book with a couple years back also wrote a book called “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”. It became an international bestseller because it spoke to that part in all of us that gets so caught up doing exactly the opposite.  The fact is that life’s richness comes from finding the courage to let go the small stuff to make room for the bigger, more meaningful, stuff (which is why I dedicated an entire chapter in my book to just that… “Finding the Courage to Let Go”.  Spending your days preoccupied with “the small stuff” doesn’t honor who you are. You are worthy of so much more. Finally, our endless quest for perfectionism can stifle our enjoyment of life, keeping us from being fully present to, and grateful for, our many blessings in life.  When you are focused on everything that isn’t “just right” in your life – whether your body, your spouse, your home, your kids or your job – it prevents you from being truly present to all that is.  Life’s perfection actually exists in its imperfection.  The truth is that if life was perfect, it wouldn’t be!  You can’t always see the perfection of life in the moment through the narrow lens of where you stand today, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Making it a practice to ask yourself if the stuff you are expending your precious time and energy on is worthy of you – frees you to face your challenges more powerfully, accomplish your goals more effectively and enjoy each day more fully. On that note, I invite you to reflect on these 5 questions: 1. What have you been spending a lot of time on which, in the bigger scheme of things, doesn’t really matter? 2. What would you be doing if you were able to let go having to do it “just right” or have it turn out perfectly? 3. What difference would it make if you could accept yourself just as you are (imperfections and all), embracing everything that makes you so unique? 4. What difference would it make to your relationships if you could accept others just as they are (imperfections and all), embracing everything that makes them so unique? 5. How might you enjoy your life more if you could accept your current life circumstances as they are right now despite those aspects which aren’t as you’d like them to be? I challenge you right now to embrace life’s imperfection more fully, to let go of your constant striving to perfect the ‘small stuff” and to shift your focus to the ‘bigger stuff’ that really does matter.  Doing so will enable you to see countless opportunities to excel that you’ve been missing,  bring you a deeper sense of gratitude and, most importantly, allow you to fulfill your unique potential… despite your imperfections. Now….what could be more perfect!?   Written originally for w2wlink.com by Margie Warrell.

Stress-Busting Ideas

-By Tom Hopkins

Let’s face it, on a list of high-stress careers, selling has to be up there with tightrope walking. Haven’t you had days when you felt that you actually were on a tightrope? I know I did. To survive, and, more importantly, to maintain a healthy balance in life, we need to be proactive about releasing our daily stress in creative ways. For some people, exercise is the best way to relieve stress. Physical activity is a civil way to release pent-up frustration without risk of causing harm to yourself or others. Another idea is to schedule a brief decompression session each day. Go somewhere calm and peaceful where you can simply relax with no further demands on yourself. Once you’ve taken a few deep breaths and calmed yourself, this is when you’ll renew your dedication to your goals, your uniqueness, your purpose, and your faith in your ability to perform at peak levels. This could take as little as five minutes of your time to have a positive effect. A third idea is to take up a hobby — something that uses different parts of your body or your brain. If you’re a parent of young children, I suggest a hobby that you might be able to share with your children. Or even better, make your children your hobby. Find out about something they’d like to learn, and learn it together. This method serves two purposes: you learn something new, and you create wonderful memories with your child. Insulate yourself from the killing pace of change. Granted, we have to keep up when it comes to business, but do we really need to strive to have the latest and greatest in all aspects of our lives? My answer is no. We don’t have to be trendy in every aspect of our lives to keep up. On the contrary, you’ll find it easier to run at the front of the pack if you keep your life simple, and if you keep in touch with who you are and where you’ve come, rather than what you own. Train yourself to look at time as a precious resource rather than a merciless taskmaster. I am a firm believer in time management — managing to enjoy my life while conducting business, rather than filling in every gap with a meeting or project that will get me further ahead. Hang out with people with whom you have fun. Seek out and make friends with people who accept and affirm your worth as a person. Accept your human nature. You’ll never have the perfect answer to every question. Don’t lead yourself or others to believe you do. Make a habit of searching for challenging new concepts and opinions contrary to your own to help you develop a better understanding of your world and how to live well in it. Develop your own list of things that make you feel good. Keep that list handy and apply at least one item to your life on a daily basis in order to keep the negative effects of stress at bay.

Smile & Move

an uplifting 3-minute video

There are 5 ways to smile, 4 ways to move.

Use the Smovie as a powerful and concise way to introduce the message at meetings and events (national corporate meetings, employee retreats, annual organization kick-offs, etc.).

Figuring out ways to make a fortune

“We all know a variety of ways to make a living. What’s even more fascinating is figuring out ways to make a fortune.”

– Jim Rohn

Criticism

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” 

- Zig Ziglar

My Dream Job- How I made It Happen

by Bronwyn Bowery-Ireland
I am about to board a plane from Chengdu to Shanghai. I have just spoken to 50 people about coaching and how we need trained up coaches who can speak Chinese.

Last week I was in Taipei and Kaohsiung in Taiwan speaking to 30 coaches, of which most were students and graduates of ICA. We spoke about the future of coaching and business and the nexus between the two.

In June we are planning a trip to Malaysia to speak to students and people interested in coaching and in July travelling to Australia to speak to staff, and more students and potential coaches.

In October a trip to India is planned, again to meet students, graduates and future coaches. In December a trip to the States to attend a coaching conference.

Now to some people this might sound like a lot of travelling and to others it might sound like the dream job.

To me it is the dream job. I decided some years ago that I wanted to travel to many places around the world. I wanted to meet up and connect with coaches and people doing business in this area. So I made it happen.

The way I made it happen was committing to a weekly one hour coaching session with my coach. Each week I call my coach and begin immediately to work on the areas I am focused on. The speed at which we move through things is dependent on me focusing on my coaching session throughout the week, thinking about what I need to work through this week or what I need to bring to the coaching conversation.

If my coaching session is not powerful or I leave feeling not so resolved then this is usually because I was not focused to begin with. I need to carefully plan out what I want to bring to the coaching conversation each week. Some weeks I feel as though I am too exhausted to have my coaching or don’t really have anything to work on. However I am committed to coaching and achieving my goal of growing greater self awareness. So I prepare and on those weeks of tiredness or seeming lack of focus, I leave my coaching session feeling motivated, focused and excited to be moving forward.

I have come to learn that to cancel a coaching session is to lose energy for a week and to lose focus. My coaching sessions are a way of clearing out any feelings or uncertainties in my week. They are a way of moving any negative energy from within me as talking out loud helps how I am feeling and where I am at and to stay present.

I often hear myself telling my coach that it’s painful sometimes to have to be brutally honest with myself and as he always explains, it’s best to be honest with your coach as they are a sound board for you. Let’s think about this concept for a moment. If I didn’t have a coach then this conversation would be going on internally, with my inner self talk. As we all know inner self talk goes round and round and doesn’t actually go anywhere except in a negative energy field. It spirals down into a conversation of justifying and explaining why I shouldn’t do something. Controlling our inner self talk takes great skill.

Thus is the purpose of a coach. It is a conversation that is directed outwards and when we hear ourselves speak we gain clarity as to where we are going and what we are thinking and feeling. My coach asks me questions that get me to explore depths to my thoughts and to my feelings. He allows me a safe and supportive space to test ideas and thoughts.

In the last 12 months I have achieved more things than I have ever achieved through regular, decisive coaching. To not have coaching feels like not eating or nurturing myself. Its just not possible

Grow up in confidence

“I’ve been very blessed. My parents always told me I could be anything I wanted. When you grow up in a household like that, you learn to believe in yourself.”  

- Rick Schroeder

Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden

“Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.” 

- Jim Rohn

Good parents give their children Roots and Wings

“Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what’s been taught them.”  

-Jonas Salk